Life changes

Well I had started to feel that this journey was never going anywhere.  I had finally had my final visit with the surgeon and finished up everything else I needed to do in order to submit to insurance.  That same night I got a sore throat.  We went out to dinner and I could barely swallow.  I took some ibuprophin hoping that would help.  I woke up the next morning and I had spots all over me and I couldn't swallow at all.  I went to Medic USA and saw the doctor there (fever 101.5).  He said that he believed I had severe tonsillitis and an absess on one of my tonsils.  I went to Target and got my perscription (amoxicillian) and met friends for dinner. While in target I started noticing the bottoms of my feet hurt when I would step a certain way. It was to the point that I couldn't eat anything so I just drank glass after glass of water.  I woke up the next morning and the rash was so much worse. I still couldn't swallow, but now there was so much (what i thought was infection) inside my mouth that I couldn't talk anymore.  As soon as Jason got off of work I made him take me to the hospital.  I spent 9 hours in the hospital.  They said it was some sort of allergic reaction, but they didn't know to what.  By this time I was burning up with fever and could barely stay concious.  They gave me some steroids and fluids.  My fever spiked up to 102.9 and both my husband and I were shocked when they discharged me with instructions to see my family doctor the following day.  I couldn't get an appointment the following day and I slept all the way through that day.  I don't remember it at all.  Early the next morning the doctors office called me back.  I could barely walk and couldn't talk.  My rash had progressed to the point that it was joining together and felt like it was on fire.  I went to my family doctor at 11 am.  He walked in the room and saw me sitting there, stopped dead in his tracks, and said "Oh my god.  You have Stephens Johnson syndrome."  I said, "What is that and will I be ok?"  He said we need to get you to a dermatologist and into the hospital NOW.  He called and got me an appointment right away.  By 11:20 I was in the dermatologists office and he was calling to get me a room in the hospital.  At 11:30, I walked through the doors of the hospital and into admissions.  They took me to my room and a doctor called Aswad told me that my doctor (family doctor) had demanded I be sent to the University of Virginia medical center right away.  I had to wait about 12 hours before there was a bed available, but honestly I don't remember.  I told Jason afterward that it felt like minutes because I was so out of it.  Valley Transport took me the 2.5 hours to UVA and when I got there they had an ICU room waiting.  My vitals were very low when I got there and I was very dehydrated.  My kidneys weren't functioning normally and my blood sugar and pressure was fluctuating wildly.  My fever was 103.8. 

The next morning a doctor came in and told me that they believed I had something called either erythema multiforma major or Stephens Johnson Syndrome.  The dermatologist team came in and told them to stop all medications except pain meds and saline.  They punched a whole out of my shoulder to biopsy and they said pain management and a team of doctors were what was going to "pull me through this thing."  I used my cell phone to google Stephens Johnson Syndrome (big mistake) and I had trouble not freaking out.  Inside I was screaming.  I was going to die.  It was pretty certain.  I had several days of misdiagnosis that this thing that a head start.  I couldn't walk, couldn't talk.  How could I die.  I have so many things I want to do.  I wanted to lose weight.  Have a baby.  I wanted to travel.  I wanted to do something to change people lives.  My family didn't get to say goodbye.  Who is going to take care of Jason.  He can't find his own socks.  My dog would miss me and my cats wouldn't have anyone to clean up their nasty hairballs.  Would my husband be able to love again?  Would she be good to him? 

When you can't talk a lot can go through your mind.  I was scared. I talked to my mom for awhile that night.  I told her all the things I haven't said.  That I love her.  That I miss her.  I told her about my dreams of having a daughter with her fiery temper.  Apparently I talked to her with the nurses in the room because when I was more coherent she asked if I wanted to call my mom and I had to explain.....my mom died in 2003.  For awhile though, she was there with me, plain as day.  She told me so much about how strong I can be.  She explained that I was her strength all those years. Her little blue eyed inspiration.  I realize that this could have been a combo of medication and fever halucination, or if you are religious you may believe that she was there to help me through.  It doesn't matter what caused it.  Whatever it was, it helped me.  The why and how is unimportant to me.  After that I started "miraculously" healing.  My whole body began to blister and pop (like a burn) and after the "burns" would pop, my skin would begin to peel off.  My back was the worst.  Each time they would turn me over for the bed pan, pieces of skin would stick to the pads they had underneath me.  It was the worst pain I have ever had in my life!

The big challenge then became making sure I didn't get an infection and making sure that I got some protein in.  I had to drink at least a protein shake at each meal or I would have to get a feeding tube.  On the 4th day in ICU I began to feel like I could walk again, but they were reluctant to let me try.  I decided I was tired of the bed pan so I finally got a nurse to walk with me and I did it.  That was when they decided to let move to a regular room.  It was only a few days until they let me come home.  I ended up losing a lot of skin.  All of it off my back, most of my legs and arms.  My face was the first to peel (I was still in the hospital) and my feet and hands were the very last.  When the bottoms of my feet came off, it was in big sheets and again I couldn't walk. 

So I missed the most stressful part of the whole bariatric process.  When they submit for insurance approval and you have to wait...and wait...and wait.  My waiting was occupied with the hospital visit and recovery. Lucky for me it has been a couple of months and I am already healed.  All my doctors have signed off, insurance approved me and I'm having surgery on May 6, 2013!!