Preschool Apocalypse

Oh my GOD what a day.  I thought the last day before vacation would find me in an excellent mood and ready to get out the door and get home.  Instead it has been this mixed up day.  The staff member in the beginnings program class is out today because her son is sick.  A couple of my students went to the beach for the rest of this week so the director decided since "numbers will be down" they would put them with me.  No lets not let a teacher assistant be the teacher in there, lets give them to another teacher, throw off my entire schedule and give me a very mixed group.  I have two very young 2 year olds, one older 2, one young 3, five older 3's and one four year old.  Talking about a hard class.  You have the younger twos being freaked out by being in a different classroom.  One has only been at our facility for a few days, the other just moved out of the infant room.  You have them taking toys away from the three year olds and the three year olds hitting or pushing them and then the 4 year old terrorizing all the rest of them.  This should never have happened.  There is no excuse for this to happen unless we have several staff members out.  We have one teacher who only has 1 child today.  Why couldn't she take them?  I am just so ready for this day to already be over. 

It's a Mister Rogers Kind'a Day

You know how in Mr. Rogers neighborhood everything was always very peachy?  Well today feels like that to me.  The sun is shining the temp is perfect and I am in such a great mood. Only two more days until I am on vacation.  Well I guess less really because I'm halfway through today.  I wish it was this time tomorrow, then I will only have hours until the torture is over for a week.  I love my job, but I'm ready for a break. 

Come on Vacation!!

This is a short week for me but somehow it has ended up being the longest!  It's only Tuesday.  I am so sleepy today and I'm ready for something in my life to change, but I am cautious about saying that because every time I say that something bad happens and I wish things would just go back to the way they were before I wished it. 

I am ready to be in the middle of nowhere and sleep on the ground for a week.  I know I know, how weird am I?  Part of me wishes that I had decided to just take my vacation and stay home for a week, but the other part of me knows that it's a chance for Jason and I to get together and connect.  We don't get opportunities like that very often.  Last year was Myrtle Beach and then Ft. Meyers Beach in FL.  We got lucky with two vacations.  This year I am only taking 1. 

Well my lunch break at work is over so I had better get back before they send a search party.  Its time for our daily teacher's meeting.

Unexpected Surprise

Since I have moved to VA I haven't had many friends.  Most of them have been from work.  Lastnight we stayed after work to help Kim (baby room lead teacher) rearrange the room.  The two people above me at work stayed.  I asked my hubby to come and help and Kim brought her husband.  Turns out that my husband went to High School with both Kim and her husband Jake.  After the boss left, the second in command, Jason, Kim, Jake and I went out the dinner at TGI Fridays.  It was about 10:30 when we went to eat.  Jason and I stayed talking to Jake and Kim until about 2:00 in the morning.  We went to bed about 3 am.  It was amazing and I could so see us being friends with them.  I am not very good at making and keeping friends so I have to admit that I don't know what the next step should be.  Is there some protocol?  I think I will just talk to Kim at work and let the guys work the rest of it out. 

This morning Toby had a groomer appointment at 9am.  We dragged ourselves out of bed and took him over, then went to cracker barrel to eat.  We go there every Saturday and we have gotten friendly with the GM.  He came over to talk to us and then when we were leaving he took our check and paid for it! After we picked Toby up at the groomers we came home and went back to bed.  We slept from about 11:20 to 2:30.  It has been a lazy day. 

This week I only work 4 days.  On Friday is the first day of my vacation.  We are going down to southern Virginia for a week of tent camping at Holliday Lake.  I always call it the wrong name "Lake Holliday" which is a housing development near where we live.  Anyway, we have never been to this camp ground.  Tomorrow we are going to load up early and head down to scope out the camp ground and see what the lake is like.  We are going to fish while we are there.  Right now it's 1 am so I better get in bed so I can get up in the morning. 

I want to run

Okay so over the past few months everytime I ask myself why I want to lose weight (besides the obvious health reasons) is because I want to run.  I see people doing it all the time and I think, man how awesome would it be to run?  I mean full on run.  I have a gym membership which I haven't been using.  I need to get my ass in gear with no excuses. 

Chances

Well it turns out that I have been delayed for my surgery.  My insurance company makes us wait a predetermined amount of time before having the surgery.  There will be a once a month trip to the nutritionist for six months.  A psych evaluation followed by more testing.  So it will probably be 2013 before I get the surgery.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  I think it will give me more time to think about it and more time to work with my doctor to find out just why I can't lose weight.  If I can do it without surgical intervention then that would be amazing!  Looks like this delay might turn out to be for the best. 

On another note, work sucks today.  One of our teachers are out and this puts extra stress on everyone because the only assistant we have has to be in the other teachers room.  Not to mention, I have the responsibility of getting the summer program running and making sure everything runs smoothly.  There is barely time to concentrate on my ten children.  Adding to that being responsible for helping everyone else's day to run smoothly is sometimes more than I can handle. 

Life Changer

Over the past few months I have come to an understanding that its time to take my life back.  I had another journal on another website and I have been following the decision making process and the things that have been happening.  I want to keep the decision from my family.  The decision I have made is to consider bariatric sugery for my weight loss.  I have battled my whole life with being over weight, but it wasn't until the last few years that it has gotten way out of control.  When I went to the doctor and stepped on the scale and topped out at 254.0 lbs I was beyond shocked!  This is not the person I am.  I'm not one of those people who let myself get like that.  Yet here I am.  I am so heavy I am infertile.  I have lost out on the chance of having children because I let it get this far. 

When considering the surgery, I had to think about not only the risk of death during or right after surgery, but also the after care.  I will be off work for several weeks. I will be on a liquid diet for a couple of weeks.  After the couple of weeks I will add soft foods very slowly.  It will take 8 to 9 weeks before I can add solid foods.  The most I would be able to eat is 1 cup of food at a time.  I will have to constantly maintain 64 oz of water everyday because I can't eat foods that normally were packed with water.  I will have to take a vitamin and iron supplement for the rest of my life and depending on the type of surgery I get, I may have frequent visits back to the surgeon. 

On July 5, 2012 I go back for a weight loss seminar.  I don't know what comes after that, but from what I understand of the process other places you have to attend the seminar, then attend a counseling session and a visit with the nutritionist.  The hospital I found while researching it also required your application to be put in front of a committee.  The next big hurtle for me will be getting my insurance to cover the surgery.  I just pray that it will.